Christmas Thoughts

I have officially finished Christmas shopping...I hear bells ringing, I think! Anywho, I must say that had a wonderful time doing it and probably spent way too much money...especially on Tim. I got him...oh, you though that I was gonna tell, didn't you Tim? No way!! I actually felt like I was buying him gifts this year, not buying stuff for him with his wages...it was kind of fun, I must say! The kids, of course, get spoiled yearly...but it's fun.

On another note, I have really been enjoying teaching at the school and I am quite sad that I don't get to teach after December as the teacher I am filling in for is coming off of paternity leave. Great people to work with...and as a side note, the rink across the street has the best wonton soup ever!! It has chicken and sprouts and cabbage and onions and tonnes of wontons...very yummy!! (it is sad that I like to go to work because of the food-although very Ukranian of me)

Finally, what I really want to write about: The Elim Christmas Production. It was awesome. I think it is the best in the city (and perhaps the province...in my non-biased opinion) A choir, a symphony orchestra, a cane and some dancers...I mean who doesn't like Christmas music and with a full orchestra, no less?? Honestly, who? If you can find someone, I promise that we will go out and I will humiliate myself by karaokeeing a "Pink or Shania" song of your choice!! It was so great, people...if you missed it, your year is worse off. I did find out many things at the production...70 people co-ordinated in blue and white looks cool, not corny, Tim is apparently great with a cane (who knew?), Pete does stand-up!?(double who knew?), and snow machines are the coolest...I would like one in my house! Just imagine...cooking or cleaning with a gentle falling of evaporating snow...how picturesque. The soloists were fabulous, the set was gorgeous and the choir was awesome...I think some pics may be in order here...

Hmmm, A deeper look into me right now would tell you this...I missed singing in the Christmas production... although the fun thing is that I got to bring a few people with me and just enjoy watching this year. I did have a blast filming it on Monday night...so tempting for Kevin Pierce and I to do a "director's cut commentary", but we refrained...funny stuff, people...funny stuff! I felt as though Christmas season had finally arrived (even though my tree has been up for quite some time, now) Infact, I felt the need to express my festive outlook in a very festive festivus festivy sort of way....Now if antlers and a flashing red nose don't do the trick...then what does?

I was quite fond of the set this year, good pick on the white Martha Stewart trees Blaine, so I thought that it would be fun to utilize the backdrop for some romantic pictures. This is one of them...pretty nice, eh? I like it quite a bit...

Anything you want to hear about? Any details of the production? Comment and I shall answer or create an answer with my over-active imagination...could be fun...

Christmas is Coming!

Just wanted to tell you all about this. If you live close to Saskatoon...you had better be there! Make sure that you come early because we seem to 'pack out' every year...it'll be awesome, people. It's just the thing to get you into the Christmas Spirit (and ironically enough, it is called, "Spirit of the Season") Hope to see you there!

Too Long...

Honestly not a whole lot has happened on the Barnstable homefront. Why? you may ask...well, when one is too busy, there is no time for anything to happen!! As many of you know, my tree is up and I have finally completed it except for the tree skirt. My dilemma: I finally have the $$ to buy one this year (they are like 40-45 bucks, people!) BUT I, for the life of me, cannot find one that I love... And yes, those are gifts under my tree...I have kids and they will find them if I don't wrap them. On another note, Tim and I have picked out a carpet that will be installed on January 2! It is that 'new' shag and it's color, you ask? Fudge bar is the name and it as rich and dark as you are imagining! Love it...

Well, something that I wanted to show you a few months back, but didn't have a camera, is the play centre that Tim made for the kids. Pretty nice, eh? Although, I feel as though I should have parents sign a waiver before their kids can play on it...honestly!


Well, I have to go to teach at the school soon, but I do have to mention that I had a great 'last weekend' with Alison...so glad we could bless you with a surprise baby shower...thanks, Kristin! You look great, Alison...

It's Been, One Week Since I wrote to You...

Well, it is almost complete...my Christmas tree, that is. I like to put the ribbon and beads on it and look at it for a few days to do all of the 'adjusting'. Then I add the decorations...that is the easy part, although you know I'll be moving ornaments around for a couple of weeks...Yes, I am such a looser! Bet you didn't know I'd be that anal with a Christmas tree, did you? And yes, you have guessed correctly...there are no "made at school" ornaments, Spiderman as Santa or My Little Ponies on my tree...those are for the lovely 'down stairs tree'. You all better be gearing up for the Elim Tabernacle Christmas Extravaganza (and I wonder why they don't let me name it??!) It is going to be absolutely fantabulously excellent! Hmmm...two Christmas albums to own...Denver and the Mile High Orchestra Christmas album and Clay Crosse's Christmas album (very big band, jazz club dinner music) Apparently Heather Clark has a Christmas album coming soon...that would be interesting...I'll let you know when I get it...

Backtracking a little to Halloween...Like I had said in my last blog, Tim and I were going to Dracula on the 29th. It was awesome! We dressed up, which in case you don't know me, I love to do. I even had false eyelashes from the MAC counter. They were fun...you should try them out, girls, for your next big occasion. Very dramatic. I wore a black dress and black stiletto boots and upon inspiration from Alison, some very classy fishnet hosiery. They were from Winners, DKNY...very nice. Tim dressed up too...much less of an ordeal. But he looked great (he wore my fav shirt that he wore for the Christmas production last year...It is from Le Chateau...guys, you should be shopping there!) We went to the Keg which is always yummy and then we went to the ballet. It was quite intriguing as there wasn't any dialogue. Wonderful costuming and effects. At the end, Dracula was skewered on a very large wooden stake. they placed it in the ground, standing, with him splayed over top of it...very cool. I would recommend it next year!

I cannot believe how quickly the fall has passed. Tim and I had all of these plans to take a trip or two and it seems that that won't be happening...Tim is quite busy with the Christmas production and I seem to work all of the time...which I am hoping will change soon (the working part, that is) We'll have to see if we can get away in December sometime...there is a possibility of that...we'll have to wait and see.

I am not sure if I have written about this, but we were looking at houses and the market in Saskatoon is definitely a 'seller's market'. Way too expensive. Hello people, we aren't in Calgary!! (Just look at our water system...Kristin educated us on that) So, we decided to refinance our home and do a little "adding on". Our bedroom will have a en-suite and a walk in closet (cause Tim has so much clothing and shoes...hee hee) And we will finish our kitchen and maybe get our long awaited hot tub...Yes, you may all come over lots to use it! Anyway, we will have the house exactly how we want it and it will be like 75,000 less than buying what we want! Seems only logical to me!

Anyway, have a wonderful short week....yay...my sister and bother in law are coming to visit this weekend...very exciting as we don't see family very often. Till next time....

Christmas, Vampires, Love, Trust and Fire...(odd, I know)

I have officially begun putting my Christmas tree up. Tan, I know that you are beating your chest saying, "Noooooo". Sorry!! Hey, at least it can be a spectacle and all the people can drive by slowly and say, look at those people that have their tree up...what kind of people are they??? I could dress my kids in elve's costumes and send then out to play in the front yard...Hmmmm...Don't worry, I won't! Hee hee. I have only put up the tree and the lights...no official decorations, yet. I wanted Tim to have some time to adjust to the whole thing (he usually enforces the "no tree until after nov 11" rule) Why have I done this, you ask? Because it makes me happy-and that is good enough for me. I have been listening to the Christmas production and it is so so good-I just love it...and not being involved this year in choir/music,has made me very sad-so up my tree went. It has helped! Now about that Christmas house banner that Blaine promises every year...

Tim and I are going to Dracula (the ballet) this weekend. I am very excited about it. First we are going to the Keg for supper as we love it and have not been there in quite some time. Then we will proceed to the ballet. It is going to be such a great night...I feel all "high-class" or something...first having dinner and then going to the ballet. We haven't been on a grand-scale date for quite some time, so I can hardly wait! On the topic of Tim, I just wanted to say what a wonderful guy he is. You know, I don't know many humans like him on this earth. People are usually so non merciful and fickle in their love. He has truly shown me Jesus over the last few months. He has even been reading Captivating to better understand women and how to deal with and treat me and also Gracie, his little girl. He truly adores us...not just loves and puts up with, but adores his family. Everyday he tells me how beautiful he thinks I am. Even when I feel like the butt area has gotten a little larger, he says I am perfect and when I look at him, I know he isn't just saying that cause that is what guys should say. He actually told me the other day that I am captivating. Me? I said (I can hardly believe him) Almost daily, he tells me how much he appreciates everything I do around the house and always thanks me for dinner. Sometimes when I look into his eyes I can see how Jesus feels about me. He looks past my outer appearance, through my faults and sin, and sees the woman I was created to be. Those are very overwhelming moments (that I usually run from and joke about...I get all squirmy with that kind of unspoken intimacy) So, now that most of you are barffing, I will quit. I just wanted you to know what an amazing man I am married to. I love him! Plus, as an added bonus, he has great hair!

Anyway, the main theme of what God has been teaching me about lately is trust. I saw a picture today of a little girl on a swing. You know how fun and carefree you feel on a swing, almost like you are transported back to a time of no cares....it's just you, the swing and the blue sky that you can almost touch! Kristy-Anne, I know you know what I am talking about! As I felt flooded with all of those emotions, my eyes moved up the picture and saw that the swing wasn't hooked to the swing-set, but the chains were held in the hands of Jesus. It said, "do you trust me?" I actually said out loud, "yes". I believe that I won't fall off the cliff. I believe that God has all of my days numbered and that He has a plan for me. This is a place that I have not been in 20 years. I have always felt as though I was on God's List of Things to Do and He just hadn't quite gotten to me yet. I know that He loves me. Just 3 weeks ago we were sitting in church and I told God that I feel useless, just a shell of a person...that I have no purpose. Eldon had us all hold hands and pray for eachother. I was trying, but really wondering if He heard my prayers. At the end Tracy (she was sitting next to me) was talking to the woman beside her and that woman told her to tell the "young girl" (me) that she really felt God was telling her that He has purpose and a plan for me. Hmmmm...that hit me like a tonne of bricks cause I didn't think that God had heard me and if He did, dismissed me cause what I felt was silly and childish. But no, He cared enough to tell someone so that they could tell me. On the same note, thanks Jenny for reminding me of what Steve Osmond said that day 4 years ago...I had forgotten...

So, the sky in more blue, I welcome the snow and I love everyone around me...I will apologize now if I go around hugging you all....just put up with it...besides, who can't use a hug?? What does all of this mean to me? Well, it means I am more peaceful, more content and I have the slight flickerings of joy in my spirit...embers, really...but the Holy Spirit is fanning them and I know that embers are all you need to start a raging fire...

Let's Pick My Brain...Shall We?

These are the goings on in my brain these days (I won't even begin to apologize for all of the things I am going to write about and how they don't seem to relate in the slightest)

First of all...happy belated Birthday, Rylan! Hope you had a good one...if not, your friends had better make this weekend a great one...some wine, perhaps? Secondly, girls-it is time to plan a girls night out or a poker night. My brother in law has a great professional poker set so we would feel all like we were really in Vegas! And, as a bonus, I could make the snacks!! Leave a comment telling me good nights and what you might like to do and we can go from there. It shall be fun times, girls, fun times! Thirdly, work has really started to take up a lot of my brain power and energy...seriously, if you can believe it, most Friday nights, I just want to fall into bed. Yes, it is true..."Social Jenn" has taken a break!! I know that the rest of you have been working for years now, but I haven't ever really worked outside of my home...but I do a whole lot of work in my home therefore I feel like I work and then leave and go to work and then come home and fall into bed...Sad, I know....

You know, it seems as though I have been facing quite a bit of stuff "head-on" lately...like I mentioned my 'therapist' and working through a crap load of crap...Eloquent language, I know...then there are things that I would like to avoid and run from and it seems like every time I go to do that, they are thrown in my face...sometimes it seems like such a small world and I like to ask God why He likes letting all of these things come at once...to which He seems to say "If things happened one at a time and orderly, then you would think that you can handle them, Jenn...therefore you get everything at once so that you have to lean on me for support"...thanks, I think! My therapist asked me a question this week to which I have really been struggling to find the answer. She asked me if I trust that God has his arms around me so that I won't fall over the "cliff". I am not sure. I have always felt like I have been at the bottom of God's "To Do" list and He just hasn't quite gotten to me yet. I know that is not the case...but is the way I feel sometimes...

Anyway, one of these days I am going to write my first of many Christmas rants. I love it so much...all the colors, smells, food and friends...oooo, I cannot wait!!

With working so much, I miss seeing some of you...
Love ya,
J

Ode to Kristy-Anne

K, seriously...this girl had me in tears on Sunday night whilst we were playing Taboo. I was on no particular team, but in my heart I was on her team...I believe it was called "The Cool Team"...or as Jeanson called it, the "I'll Stab you Team"?? Anyway, Kristy-Anne had Nate and I laughing hysterically and I was seriously in tears! (And one must never forget about the hysterical Rylan Schultz...I must dedicate a blog to him one of these days). What a tonne of fun that was...thanks so much for inviting me to your parent's abode. I personally cannot believe that we were all there until 2:45.

You, Kristy-Anne are a truly beautiful girl inside and out. Actually, you and Alison are the women I think of when I read about the woman I want to be like in "Captivating". And no, I am not trying to get out of you posting those absolutely hideous pictures that were taken Sunday night! Honestly, it was like I was able to look ugly in every single one...and yes, to answer the question raging within each one of you...I am vain and I hate ugly pictures. Hey, at least I'm honest, right?? Love ya and hope to do coffee at "St. R. Bucks" when Tim and I visit Edmonton!!

Thanksgiving Weekend

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! We did got o bed early Friday night as this working thing had me tired out by then (hard to believe, I know!) We enjoyed company every night thereafter and had a wonderful time with them all. On Monday, I made a 17 lb turkey...ya, that's right we have turkey leftovers to hold us over until Christmas!! We had yams (with brown sugar and marshmallows on top), mashed po-tay-toes (I sang the song as I made them, Alison...hee hee), dressing, corn and gravy. It was so yummy...and the best part of it was sharing it with our good friends Maury and Marla. They were the next best thing to having family come and honestly, probably a tad more fun (sorry family!) They stayed until 10 pm and then had to drive back to Calgary...goof balls. Now let me tell you why you all need to have friends like these two. They are open and honest, caring, loving and slightly crazy. They seriously will sit down and without having to talk for 2 hours tell you what their struggles are and help you through yours. They love unconditionally and for that, Tim and I are forever greatful. The thing is...they live in Calgary. Thank goodness for phones and the internet! One of the neatest things they did last time they were here in September was go through our house with us and pray over every room...there definitely has been blessing in our home and our friendship after that. On top of all of those wonderful things, as an added bonus, really, they are quite good lookin' people, as you can see below! We love you guys and cannot wait to visit you!

So, I too have been reading this book Captivating and I just think it is a book that every girl, husband and daddy should read. I have so many thoughts on this book and it's content that I will have to think it over before I write exactly how it has impacted me. It has truly challenged me, infact quite often I read some and then put it down and walk away (cause I feel mad at it because it is challenging me) only to pick it back up 20 minutes later. I am sure that Tim wonders what my deal is. Oh well...he knew I was slightly nuts when he married me!

Now, not to kill the excitement of the big baby announcement (Alison and Leon's) I was just wondering....what does this do to our "Girl's Lounging on the Beach Vacation"??? Just wondering...

Happy Birthday

Today is my sister, Dawn's, birthday...therefore my blog will be dedicated to her. Dawn is almost 5 years younger than me and pretty much opposite from me in every way. She has dark hair, skin and these amazing dark eyes that almost shine purple at times. She loves deeply, but does have a temper...so do not tick her off! Infact, she was so upset with one of my friends once that she phoned them to give them a piece of her mind, but hung up at the last minute!! Crazy girl! Her and Ethan may be the most kindred spirits that have ever existed. She loves my kids (spoils them too much!) and I can only imagine what an amazing mom she will be one day. She is beautiful and is on her way to learning how to work hard...she is pretty young, you know...plus she had me always doing her work for her...right, Dawn? Love you and hope that today is wonderful and that dad makes you a yummy supper and that you take one night off of "South Beach" to enjoy! See you soon...

Jenn

Movies, Movie Stars, Summer camp and Parking

Well, Friday is finally here although my weekend doesn't officially begin until 9:15 this evening. Most of this will probably be fairly random, but at least then it has the potential to be funny/entertaining. I am really enjoying my job...you people that live here in the city really need to book a massage. There are male and female therapists for you goofy boys that don't want a boy touching them...I prefer girls too as boys typically aren't as deep massagers. It is only $16 for a 45 minute treatment and $28 for a 90 minute treatment! Very cheap and there are some fairly talented people that practice here. It is very private...you get your own room and stuff like that. So....whatcha waiting, watcha waiting, whatcha waiting, whatcha waiting, whatcha waiting, whatcha waiting fo-or?? (it's only fun if you hear Gwen Stefani singing it in your head!) And as an added bonus, if you come on Wed, Thurse or Friday...you get to see me....could there be a better end to your day?

Last Saturday I did something that I have never, ever done before. Usually I feel quite strongly about people who do it and think that they need a good beating. ....but under the influence of a pastor's wife...I did it. I think that I still feel guilty about it....eeeee, I can't believe that I gave in and did it....oh, well, here it is...I parked in handicap parking. Isn't that terrible? I didn't even like parking in the pregnancy parking when I was pregnant cause I thought that there were probably people that needed it more than me. The pastor's wife in question had a temporary card that allows handicap parking because here mother left it behind when she went on a trip...so this pastor's wife has been making good use of it! I swear I'll never do it again...

Anyway, this topic has been on my mind a lot and I am not sure of an effective segway, so I shall just tell you. I have been seeing a counselor...I highly recommend this practice as sometimes we just need a new perspective on things. Here is my thing...I like to call her my therapist-it makes me feel like a movie star whereas counsellor makes me feel like I am back at Kenosee Lake bible camp...so, I like to say, "when I saw my therapist", or "my therapist suggested"...yes, I can be a nut case....like we didn't know that already!

We don't have huge plans for the weekend. After work this evening I am meeting Tim over at Blaine and Anne's to watch a movie...movies are safe cause I tend not to take pics of people when we are watching movies...I know that Blaine is thankful for that. I already got the "what happens at your house, stays at your house" talk...referring to the picture that was posted after our Settlers game. Uh, yeah, I just smiled and nodded...seriously, if you are going to don a darth vader hat..a picture gets taken and has to be shared with the world...As for tomorrow, Tim is playing football with the church leaguers..I am sure that you will be able to spot who was playing on Sunday as they will all be moving fairly slowly with possible limps!

Girls of Saskatoon...you know that book that Alison was talking about (Captivating)? It is on sale for $9.99 at Scott's Parables...go and buy yourself a copy. I did!

Random Thoughts

Wow...I feel like I have no time now that I am at work...like I have to schedule time in to read and create blogs. HONESTLY!! I miss you all when I don't read your blogs...

I was thinking today about a lot of different things. First off...I am truly enjoying Pastor Marv's sermons on the beatitudes...good stuff. Speaking of church, Rylan...I was a little nervous to ask you, but was wondering...were you wearing slippers at church yesterday?? If you were, that is cool with me as I used to ask Blaine if I could wear my slippers in choir. (He never really did answer me..) There are a few things that are happening soon that I am fairly excited about. First-Steven Curtis Chapman has a new Christmas CD coming out tomorrow. I love Christmas...it is my favorite season...Honestly, just ask people that know me well when it is that I put up my Christmas tree! Tim makes me wait until after Nov 11, but if it were up to me, it would go up on Nov 1...I really like my tree...ohhh, I am so excited for Christmas just thinking about it. I like to bake and make chocolates and entertain...oooo, it's so much fun. Alright, a little off track there! Second-I am excited that Tim and I are going to go to the Winnipeg Ballet performance of Dracula...that should be tres cool. Tim finds the whole topic of vampires sexy...maybe cause they bite, I am not sure...YIKES!! Anyway, we also have a gift certificate for the Bessborough hotel ( jaccuzi suite!!!). We received it from some of our friends...what a wonderful gift, dontcha think?? I am also excited cause Tim and I are going to refinance our mortgage so that we can add on to our house...no, no little one on the way, I just would like a walk in closet and we would like an on-suit. A deck and hot tub are not far behind! Very exciting. Party times ahead!!

Love you all...
J

Here it is...

Before I begin my discussion on the color of bananas, a little know fact about bananas: they possess a unique scientific phenomenon called "negative geotropism". Basically what this means is that when they start to grow, they grow downwards as gravity would dictate, but as they take in sunlight and begin to grow larger...they actually turn and grow upward! Isn' t that veird??? (Yes, I was Dutch for a microsecond..hee hee) So, here is the thing...the yellow color indicates that a banana is ripe...but bananas can also be red...so, how can I really have a good reason for bananas to be yellow?? My whole theory has to be thrown out the window. It's done, kaput, garbage...

...But I would like to address the fact, along with Tina, that a banana is not nearly enough for supper, Kristy anne! At least add some cheese and crackers to that...

Why are Bananas Yellow???

Stay tuned for this intriguing commentary.....

Salvation is Here

I picked myself up the new Hillsongs CD last Tuesday when it came out (if you know me...you know that I have like 30 Hillsongs discs...ya, I'm nuts-notice how I have never disputed that fact and maybe, just maybe am kind of proud of it...) Anyway, yesterday when I was driving home after dropping Grace off at pre-school the words of the song, "Salvation is Here" hit me...needless to say, I have had it on repeat ever since...I am waiting for Ethan to say mommy, haven't we heard this song already???

'Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know God made a way for me
Salvation is here
salvation is here and He lives in me
Salvation is here

I guess what struck me is the truth that salvation IS here..not was here not is to come, but present tense "is here" as in right now...and as an added bonus...He lives in me! Let's look at how salvation is defined...(I have officially joined the 'cool' kid's group that use dictionary.com) Salvation is preservation or deliverance from destruction, difficulty, or evil; deliverance from the power or penalty of sin; redemption. So it hit me like and 18 wheeler truck...Jesus' death and resurrection delivered (resuce from bondage or danger) me from the penalty of sin. What does that mean to me? Well, I was thinking God hates sin...I have sinned...there are definitely consequences...BUT the wrath and judgment I deserve was already taken by Jesus on the cross....I have known so much of this stuff my whole life, but it has never touched my heart. The word of God has never been alive to me...so, I am on a journey...God is very, very, very slowly revealing himself to me. He knows that if he made alive in my heart everything I know with my head, I may explode and shatter into a million pieces...and no one wants to clean that up!!

I was reading my bible. Haven't been sure where to begin (cause I haven't read it in so long), so I have started with the Psalms and then I randomly picked Ephesians. When I hit Eph 1:17-19, I really felt a tug on my heart to pray it out loud for myself...

Eph 1:17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I may know Him better. 18 I pray also that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that I may know the hope to which he has called me, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

I have embarked on this journey...I still feel like I am walking around the base of the mountain...not sure where to begin. So, I climb a little...find out that that isn't the best way, start over...but then I realize...I am not at all back where I started, but I have gained some ground. It is slow going, sometimes I have to stop and set up camp for a few days to deal with certain things and have them heal before I can move on...no one ever said that it would be easy...unfortunately, I cant take a helicopter to the top. I can only believe that when I reach the top I will be a new person...most likely I will be bruised and sore, but never the less victorious...

I'm so sorry...

O.K....I am not...really. Seriously, if you are going to put on the costume and allow me to take a picture...you can't possibly believe that I won't include it in my blog! Now, Let me bring you all up to speed...we had a wonderful relaxing weekend which included eating out a lot with my in-laws...seriously today began back to healthy eating and regular exercise or I may be double the person by Christmas (Alright, it isn't quite that bad...but I like dramatics!) Usually I don't start 'new' plans on Tuesdays....only on Mondays (quirky, I know...but it just doesn't feel right not starting at the beginning of the week) but seeing as Monday was a holiday, Tuesday becomes the "new Monday". Anyway, on Sunday night we had the privilege of having Blaine and Anne over for a game of Settlers and some dessert. Blaine won our little game of Settlers and so we named him Lord of Catan. The title came with an outfit that he all too willingly put on...and as you can see, he had no qualms about posing for the camera! Funny stuff...oh, I so had the desire to e-mail this one in time for staff meeting at the church this morning! Last night John and Charmaine invited us over for a lovely dinner. It was so yummy! Played more games, of course, but had to come home a little early as Ethan started kindergarten today and Gracie had her first morning of pre-school so they had to be in bed by 9. I feel so grown up and old...my kids being in school and all.

And the New Working Girl is...

...ME...I, Jenn Barnstable, am a soon-to-be working woman. I have acquired a job at the Professional Institute of Massage Therapy. I will work 3 evenings a week (Wed, Thurse, Fri) 3-9. It is a fabulous job that I absolutely love...you may be wondering how I know this...well, I worked there back in 2002. I have front desk admin duties (which we all know I am fairly capable at...I mean really, is there a reason to ask the multi-tasking organizational skills of a stay-at-home mom who has a fetish for cleanliness and organization all the while taking care of (herding may be a better word choice) my nutso kids?...they really get it from Tim...no seriously!! Just ask him about the game "Bum Darts"....also ask Regan Klammer (his cousin) of his psychotic control freak habits as a child. My only hope is that Ethan is so much like Ronnie was as a child and he turned out kindof good, right?? Anyway, back to the job...I also help the students with questions and ask them questions while they are with patients. So, I need to brush up on my testing skills and anatomy skills...students like teachers with skills. Basically I get to do all the things I love without ever taxing my own body by giving a massage. Yay! PLUS, they pay super well...seriously, it is more than I had hoped for. God likes to bless me...strange creator of the universe He is. Anyway, you all (the ones that live here) should come in sometime...it is only 16 bucks for a 45 minute treatment. You do have to book ahead as they book up fairly quickly. The rooms are all separate...it is very professional. I am very excited to have my own wage. First things first...I kindof have to pay off my Visa as I have been using it a little too often these days...that may take until the end of October...YIKES!! Bad Jenn...then, I have found an Asian Buffet (boys, a buffet is a long dresser like piece of furniture that goes in your dining room to store nice dishes and the like...impress you wives with that info one day!!) at Urban Barn that I have liked for 2 years...I WANT IT!! There is also a very attractive bamboo mirror that would look positively wonderful above it. Yes, I will finally finish my kitchen. It has been my nemesis for 2 years now....I will rise above and conquer it!! Then...I am going to save so that Tim and I can go to Las Vegas is February. It will be fun feeling like I am treating us. I look forward to that trip, babe! Also, I am going to see Alison after Christmas...it is time...we have talked about it for 3 years now. I am going to put my $$ where my mouth is (literally) and go see her and Leon, of course. Get ready guys....it will be a fun weekend (we will go shopping, right?) Which brings me to my last point...with a little extra money, I may have the sporadic inclination to purchase a little extra clothing. Hey, if I can't have my 2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse in Sunset pearlessant, 6-speed, with 18" wheels, a Rockford Stereo (with a sub in the trunk), white leather seats with Orange suede accents and orange stitching throughout....then I can buy a few shirts from the G-A-P....and maybe 1 from Ultimo on 3rd, right??!!

Sidenote: This morning after Tim left I saw on the stove that he had layed out the words "I love you" in Alphabits...Firstly, I am appalled that we have Alphabits in the house. Secondly...isn't that sweet? Sometimes I am not sure why that man loves me so much...I am one lucky lady....

Till next time...

My new red hair!!  

Change

Hello everyone! Well, as of last night, I left summer in the dust. Summer 2005 is one that I will remember for a lifetime...yet would just as much like to have it erased from the strands of time. I was going to wait for September 1st...but it seemed like the appropriate time to do it, soooo....I am a red head again. (Alison, I will be waiting patiently by my mailbox for my 'red-head' manual hee hee) I have been going through a tonne of change and it seemed like a really great act of symbolism....Now, I know that some of you are thinking, "holy crap...what the heck is she talking about....Jenn has never needed a REASON to change her hair color and for all intents and purposes may be addicted to it". To you I say, "it's true, it's true"!! BUT there has been a lot going on in the past couple of weeks. Tim loves it...it's funny cause I think that it is more than just the different hair color he loves...it symbolizes some really amazing changes going on in our lives.

Hmmm, where to begin. How about with the word change. How does one change? Do you just wake up one morning and say, "today, I will be different." That can be done...I have done it many times. This time, though, it involves a lot more than that. I have lived in a world of pretending. Maybe through some of these blogs, you may actually get to know me...I am kind of in that process myself. Don't worry...I am pretty sure that I am still a fun party planning dramatic extrovert who loves to do silly things and take pictures of weird people and things, and wants to possibly start a large fire one day (right Regan and Jon? hee hee hee) I just know that there is more to me than that. If you read my blog on being numb...it is so true. I don't really feel anything...that doesn't mean that I don't know in my head that I should, but that foot between my head and heart haven't been connected in years. I read a quote just yesterday that has stuck with me and probably always will. It said, "The first great enemy to lasting change is the propensity to turn our eyes away from the wound and pretend things are fine. The work of restoration cannot begin until a problem is fully faced. "

So, I have decided that the best path to being the woman that God made and intended for me to be is through the valley of the shadow of death-I know that sounds dramatic (never promised that I wouldn't be dramatic, did I??)...but it is true. Up until this point in my life...my soul has been icy, hidden, never truly allowing it to be exposed to God, any person around me, or even myself. But in the last couple of weeks I have turned down a path of healing...but it does come with a price. I have done things I am not proud of. I am sure we all have. I feel shame... C.S. Lewis said, "If you accept it (shame)-if you drink the cup to the bottom-you will find it very nourishing; but try to do anything else with it and it scalds ( you know how hot tea will burn your hand, but you can still drink it?...kind of like that)....it can bring perspective and relief. If used any other way (than bringing it to God while fully accepting it) it will destroy you. James 4:9-10 tells me that Legitimate shame always leads to a sense of being lifted up by God to possess what is surprising, unnerving, and undeserved. So, here I am. A disaster of a person with a glimmer of hope. You know how they say that the most beautiful butterflies are the ugliest caterpillars? I m hoping that that is what will happen in my life. I have been ugly, fake, hurtful...really rotting away from the inside out. But now that I am facing the dead rotting tissue and letting God cut it out and heal me, (gross, I know...but I would love to be a paramedic... I like injury and blood and all of that icky stuff) I hope that what emerges is a most exquisite butterfly that touches everyone around her with the joy of her Lord.

All of this may sound so weird and depressing to some of you...maybe even too personal...but for the very first time in my life, I want people to know me. I have hope. I have hope for true joy, hope for real healing, hope of forgiveness, and hope to be an amazing unstoppable woman of God (that Tim sees...but I don't quite yet.) Love you all so much. Promise that I'll intersperse these crazy serious blogs with some of my quirky definitions or more "Mysteries of the Universe-SOLVED" If you are so lost (meaning you have never read my blog before)...scroll down. Until next time...

Explanation

The title of my blog almost makes me chuckle...how true some things can be. I will be back to being a faithful blogger by September...just need some time off right now. Here is a quote that has impacted my life...ponder it.

"Play out, in full, the consequences of you choices" (preferably BEFORE you make the choices)

I love reading all of your blogs and I promise that I will be back soon.

J

Estevan

The past week was a BLAST!! Our first day was spent, yep, you guessed it...boating. Love it...although, I must be getting old cause I seriously feel like I have been hit by a cement truck. Most of my muscular pain comes from tubing....you can't have fun unless you leave with whiplash...my bro-in-law kept me laughing hysterically with quotes from "Anchorman", while trying my best to hold on ....we may have possibly kindof sorta mooned the people's in the boat too (no, there is no way that I would post that pic...yes, Tim snapped one...lovely) Tuesday, we did some shopping. I am sure I have told you all of the wicked awesome deals that I find when I come here...this time was no disappointment...I have acquired 3 new shirts and a pair of pants for $35! They have a new board shop here in Estevan that I discovered today. It rules! I could easily drop 500 bucks there. Thursday and Friday were boating days...the weather cooperated splendidly. Saturday was Burke's (Tim's middle brother) wedding day. It was beautiful and fun and 35 degrees with no wind....we all wanted to be on the boat (Burke was the only one that got to do that...you'll see in the pictures!!) Jamie, his new wife (whom I actually graduated high school with) has a 6 year old girl...so it is great getting an "instant" cousin for the kids!! Jamie and Kalie are great additions to the Barnstable clan. It was a truly beautiful day....kind of neat seeing a side to Burke that we don't often get to see (he had us all tearing up cause he was tearing) We had so much fun this week, it was actually hard to leave...wish we could have had a couple more days there...yes, I know that you are all in shock as I don't usually talk about Estevan like it is the place to be, but you know, in summer...it RULES...especially if you like water sports....any of you are welcome to come down with us anytime!! :)

Cody, my other brother in law, on the tube with moi. 

Tim showin' us his stuff...

Tim again...

Yep, that's Tim totally biting it!!

Burke (not his wedding day) showing us some real tricks!! 

Burke again...

That's right...that's me :)

Burke...9:15 am...the day of his wedding...WAKEBOARDING in a black suit...he didn't wipe out once!!

Burke, Jamie and Kalie 

My Fam 

Seriously, this sign is outside the Beefeater bar...I thought that it was funny...yes, that is a hot dog vending machine open and running at 12:30 am!! Estevan...what a funny place :)

Burke with Kalie, Ethan and Gracie 

Sunshine, here I come

On Sunday we are heading to Estevan for the week. Tim's brother, Burke is getting married on Aug. 6 and so we are going to visit for the week prior to the wedding. My parents do not have internet...heck, I don't even think that they have a computer (my mom still refuses to use a debit card and does all of her banking transactions with a teller) Tim's parents do have internet, so I'll see if I have time to blog at their house...if the weather is rainy, I'll have all the time in the world...

I really do look forward to going home, seeing some old friends and, my favorite part, BOATING. I love wakeboarding. I am not that great at it, meaning I can't really do any tricks, except a few tiny jumps, but I love it none the less. You know, it is also a fantabulous leg and shoulder workout. I also love getting a tan...maybe I'll post pictures every couple of days just so that we can watch how quickly I am roasting myself...hee hee. I also have a couple new bathing suits from Old Navy to try out...they were the crazy low, low price of $1.97 a piece...

I don't usually write individuals questions on my blog, but here it goes...Byron, where are you? Where have you gone? Are you going to be in Estevan any time in the near future? How is that new job of yours? Are you still alive?? If you answer, I'll send you some cookies :)

Here are some bizarre headlines that I have read in the last week...this may become a regular feature on my blog, we'll see...
1. Police return man's foot: the guy had his foot amputated (medical reasons...not just for fun) and was keeping it in a pail filled with formaldehyde on his front door step...nice...welcome to my house...have you seen my foot??
2. Hair sample not Bigfoot's: Really???....I thought for sure this time...
3. Spice Girls recording: Each of the girls aren't even recording on the same continent...some people don't know when to call it quits!!

There you have it people...Until next time...

Thoughts on Life

Wow...I was just reading my blog from yesterday...note to self: Maybe don't do that again! I am severely bored at the present moment which is the reason for my blogging...no real reason. PHONE BREAK: I just got off of the phone with Regan and we were just chatting about her sister (my cousin) Leah. I just have to say that Leah is an amazing woman. She has had this parasite in her eye for a year now...she has gone through so much pain...I can't even begin to imagine. Just last week she found out that they had a cornea for her (to get a corneal transplant) but she couldn't have it cause the parasite has spread past her cornea again and it would just infect the new cornea. So, she is back on the drops (basically pool chemicals) that get the parasite under control and once it is, she has to wait for another cornea...which could be within 1 month or past 6 months!! She is so strong...I know that if that were happening to me...you'd all have to check me into rehab after for drug and alcohol addiction. I can't imagine living with that much pain on a daily basis...especailly in the eye. It just makes me realize how much we all have to be thankful for...life may not always be fun...heck, it may get pretty darn crappy, but at least I have my health...just some sobering thoughts I am currently having...

For Sh**s and Giggles

Who even made up that phrase? It doesn't make any sense, but every time I hear it, it makes me snicker!! There was a lady just the other day at Old Navy that was saying to her friend that she would never buy the bathing suit that she was trying on but that she was just trying it on for "see above title" It made me laugh out loud in my dressing room. Anyway, my point is, for no other reason than "above title phrase" I am going to go and buy one of those caffeinated beverages that Jenna talked about and drink it....then "above title phrase" I will blog at the height of the crazy high I will most likely get from it (boy, do I need a job :)...those of you that know me know that I hardly need caffeine to be a nut case (ask Teesha as I chased her crazily to her car 2 nights in a row now laughing hysterically....she may have been slightly frightened...mwahahahaha) Yes, I am a crazy person!! Have any of you seen The Wedding Crashers? Tres funny...little cruder than I thought that it would be, but funny none the less. There is a girl in the movie that is slightly nutso and everytime she would make a crazy face and say something somewhat frightening, Tim would lean over and tell me that she reminded him of me...I think it is cause I can have a slightly insane look in my eye on occasion...hee hee hee...if I had a picture of it, I would post it...maybe tomorrow....Yes, I guess I will freely admit that I have a small amount of crazy in me...STAY TUNED...mwahahahaha...

Monster Energy

1:25pm: First sips of Monster Energy Drink. Pleasant tasting...much like a liquid version of those fun muti-colored fizzy candies that come in a roll that you eat at Halloween. This should be fun...SIDENOTE: I have not eaten today, so this could be double the 'crazy'. Stay tuned...

1:40: Feelin' a little 'head detached from the bodyish and shaky'...fun times people, fun times...and it is only going to get betta...

2:35: hee hee hee I feel funny...just to kick it up a notch, I also ingested a caffeine pill..Oh, the fun times at the Barnstable household....

I have to play the piano for my brother in law's wedding in 2 weeks, so I figure I should start working on that, eh?? I went out and bought a book of piano songs by Michael W. Smith...looks promising...it would be great to play right now, although I cannot seem to sit still...even now I am rocking back and forth in my computer chair...I suppose I to the untrained 'how to deal with Jenn when she is hopped up on caffeine' person, I may look crazy, but to you I say fear not for I shall come down off of this high and be normal once more...as normal as I can be, that is....

Have you ever wondered how crazy real crazy people are? Do they know if they are crazy? Is there a checklist to find out how crazy one is on the crazy scale??? Are there degrees of crazy? If someone has always been crazy then is it just considered normal?? Oh, the deep ponderings of life...I shall ponder and then ponder some more and get back to you on that....

Seriously...this weather is killing me...I am dying a slow painful death on the inside...if the weather is like this when I am in Estevan for a week...I may resort to drinking...oh alright, that is not true...or is it???.....but honestly, what else will I do if I can't go wakeboarding? One can only parooze the Mall so many times!! Where has the hotness from 2 weeks ago gone? FYI-rain=bad; sun and 30 degrees=good. Please come back good weather, come back...I think that there is a Saskatchewan government conspiracy...the government pays the weather people to say that in 2 days it will be 28 and sunny, just to keep us happy. Then in 2 days it is still only 18 and frickin' raining outside...but the weather people say that in 2 more days it will be nice again...liars!! You guys suck at predicting weather or there really is a conspiracy!!! Pretty soon I am just going to dress as though it is 30 degrees outside even if it is only stinkin' 15 degrees out...which may look crazy, but then that is good cause that means we have come full circle back to my crazy rant...

I'm baackkkk

I have been on a little bit of a hiatus this week as my parents were here and staying in the computer room. They left this morning, which meant that I had to be out of bed before 8...Before 8am I am "Darth Jenn"...after 8 is the Jenn you have all come to know and love (I hope) Although, the other night, Tim, me, Peter and Trent went to Maguire's...they saw a little bit of Darth Jenn. For some reason I was in a bad mood and I just couldn't make it go away...I hate when that happens....I mean it may be because I finally got the guts to buy a hat (which I love) and SOMEONE made fun of it. JERK!!

Speaking of buying things...I have been watching 3 pairs of shoes at Midtown Plaza. They were all too much for me to buy, but on Wed my mom and I were there...and guess what? They were all 9.99!! I got 3 pairs of shoes for like $35!! What a rush...to ask for 3 pairs of shoes and then say, "I'll take them all, please" I love shoes...they are my fav thing (accessories are next....oh, alright I love all clothing and the like!!) They are so cool. My fav pair are white stilletos (I have wanted a pair of these for a while).

...I can't wait for our girls trip away to warm Mexico...it'll be wonderful.

Speaking of Darth Jenn...Ethan has a new Darth Vader mask that changes his voice to sound like Darth Vader and also has pre-programmed phrases such as 'You don't know the power of the dark side', 'Don't make me destroy you' and classic Vader 'breathing'. Lovely...I just have to say, he better not show up at my bed side at 3am with that on cause he may get a swat! Thank you Grandparents!! I feel like I am raising a kid that is going to be one of those loser adults that stand in line for a month for the "20 year anniversary release of Star Wars" in costume...ohhh, well........

That is it for my blog...not a whole lot happening, although we are having some friends over for steak and shrimp this evening. Should be yummy!! Lata...

MWS

Last night Tim and I drove to Regina to go the Michael W. Smith concert (happy b-day, Tim). It was funny cause I told Tim that we could be on time if not later because there is always an opening act and these things never really begin until around 8ish (the BEP never actually took the stage until closer to 9). So, we get there and the place is dead quiet...everyone was in the auditorium and had taken their seats...it struck me as very funny...Christians are so polite!! Such a different atmosphere compared to Saturday night! The concert was great...a mix of old and new, but all very worshipful...he did a medley of some of his old songs which was fun...and yes, he performed "Friends"...it was entertaining though, cause when he started it he was totally making fun of himself singing lines like, "really? I'm singing this song again?" Again, pics aren't that great cause of the lighting...digital cameras need better flashes!! I have a couple that I will post, but I don't have an upload cord right now. Good times...he is a wonderful piano player....very talented. Now, about the drive home...I was so tired (as I have had like 12 hours of sleep over the last 5 night combined) I drove for a while, but could NOT keep my eyes open!! I am actually sure that I "slept-drove" for a while...I am too old for this!!

In other news...my mission for the week is to choose a Napoleon Dynamite saying for a tank top...got any opinions??

I am much better at 'posing' than playing Twister... 

Tim and Peter

Trent and Peter

Teesha and Peter

Teesh and Tim

Tim, Teesh and Jenn

Twisted

Aren't you all so excited that I had so much going on this weekend and I can just keep on making up posts?? :) Well, last night Teesh, Tim, Trent, Peter and myself played Twister. Here is a funny fact: I have NEVER played Twister before and now that I am 27, I thought that it would be fun to give it a try. It was pretty hysterical as we are all a "little" older...oh, don't be offended you guys, you know it's true!! At first we tried to play 4 player...too many non-children bodies on a mat made for children!! Two player was best...so we did some tournament play and then "King of the Hill" where we all had to challenge the winner. Tim just kept on winning...jerk...the thing about him is, it didn't have a whole lot to do with flexibility and the like, but I will guarantee you that he had thought out some strategy and was using it...and it was obviously working for him! We actually played for a couple hours...good times people...we'll do it again sometime!! And for all of you out there that are skeptical...you should try it...you will have fun...I give you my personal guarantee! We were actually thinking that if we played Twister every day, we would probably get into pretty good shape...maybe we should make an infomercial!! ;) The pictures are definitely the most amusing so...ENJOY!!

BEP and their band 

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!!

Come on, you know you want to sing the song out loud...Saturday night was some great fun. The Black Eyed Peas concert was amazing. Very talented bunch (and no, there was no lip synching, Trent) Teesh and I had 5th row floor seats which were pretty good. We were off to the side...centre would have been better...but I shall not complain. They performed some of their best stuff and really looked like they were having fun. I have heard that they don't really rehearse...one could tell that some stuff they did was spontaneous and totally fun and entertaining. They have great chemistry! Fergie is one great singer and a very pretty girl, at that (the album cover doesn't really do her justice!) One of the best songs of the night was "Where is the Love". The audience loved it!! I was actually fairly impressed with how non-raunchy the night was. I took some pictures, but the lighting was pretty bad, so they didn't turn out so well. The sound was great...super loud with minimal distortion. Mind you, I was a tad deaf after...which showed itself Sunday morning when I was trying to hear the bass guitar in my piano monitor and I kept asking the sound person to "turn it up!" and he kept telling me that he had it quite loud...anyway...At the concert, I purchased the most expensive tank that I have ever bought. It was $35...I know that isn't a tonne, but I typically spend 10 bucks on a tank top! After the concert there was an after-party at the "Overdrive"...I have never been there before and there is great likelihood that I shall not go back, but I am a big fan of having great stories and so I had to go and see if the Peas would actually show up. Well, they were there in a roped off area...if you wanted in, you kindof had to be invited....or as some girls did, flirt with security guys. Will (the main singer guy) came over to sign some autographs (which I got on my ticket stub) he shook my hand and kissed it and then I got to enter the roped area. Danced a little (in a group) with APO...pretty cool :) Interesting just watching people and the way they act around "celebrities" Some girls were 'macking' on the band members...yuck!! They were all very drunk and I think that a few of them were high. Fergie was completely wasted and at 2 am her assistant practically had to carry her out of there. I was going to take a couple of pics, but that wasn't really allowed. And speaking of Fergie's assistant, she was pretty strict with anyone who tried to say hi or get an autograph. It was kind of interesting just watching people so badly want to interact with these famous people and the 'famous' people not really caring. People so badly want to be around or be with famous people and you know, they aren't that great. I had said to Teesh on the way home that it would be great to be Fergie...she is beautiful, talented and tours (which looks like tonnes of fun)...after the "Overdrive" I have to say that no, I wouldn't want to be her...She didn't look very happy...maybe that was cause she was so stinkin' drunk, but I would venture a guess that it wasn't just that....maybe more on that another time on another blog...

Ohhhh, the Drama....

After much consideration, I have decided to outline "How to comment on a Blog" For the love of everything pure and good...if you read a blog, comment...if you don't, you are called a "Blog Lurker" or a Burker or Lurkog...those are not nice names!! Just click on the little "comment" word under the post and you will be transported to the magical world of comment land. And when you do that...leave your name...annon sucks!! I know that some of my wonderful friends did not know that they could comment...no offence, but were you born in a barn in a village with creatures and a color we don't speak of?? Honestly, NO excuse now!!

So, here is what I did last night...I thought that it would be nice to light a fire in the back yard...In the fire pit...all of you who imagined me lighting my back yard on fire...you know me too well :) I had a nice cigar (I only do this once a year) and one stupid girly drink. I had a couple smores, I was listening to Usher...all was well with the world. At about midnight, I started to feel "off". Before I knew it, I was puking and trying to bring all of my stuff in from the backyard inbetween puking and on top of it all, Tim is in Edmonton. Then I got one of my signature migrains that I usually go to the hospital for...only problem...I can't drive, I am not taking the kids...what to do, what to do!! So, I took about 8 advil, 2 T-3's, 2 extra strenghth Tylenol and a gravol (to keep it all down)...I was lying on the couch pretty much shaking cause I get super cold when I have a migrain, and I could barely make it down the stairs to get myself a blanket (I skidded down on my butt) I am sure that the whole evening, if watched form beginging to end would have been slightly hysterical. I am better now, but I won't be doing that again any time in the near 100 years!! Have a great weekend...

Tim took this...don't I look impressed? I was thinking that this is what my hair probably looks like at 3:30 in the morning (see posting below)...I call it "RockStar" hair...