Christmas, Vampires, Love, Trust and Fire...(odd, I know)

I have officially begun putting my Christmas tree up. Tan, I know that you are beating your chest saying, "Noooooo". Sorry!! Hey, at least it can be a spectacle and all the people can drive by slowly and say, look at those people that have their tree up...what kind of people are they??? I could dress my kids in elve's costumes and send then out to play in the front yard...Hmmmm...Don't worry, I won't! Hee hee. I have only put up the tree and the lights...no official decorations, yet. I wanted Tim to have some time to adjust to the whole thing (he usually enforces the "no tree until after nov 11" rule) Why have I done this, you ask? Because it makes me happy-and that is good enough for me. I have been listening to the Christmas production and it is so so good-I just love it...and not being involved this year in choir/music,has made me very sad-so up my tree went. It has helped! Now about that Christmas house banner that Blaine promises every year...

Tim and I are going to Dracula (the ballet) this weekend. I am very excited about it. First we are going to the Keg for supper as we love it and have not been there in quite some time. Then we will proceed to the ballet. It is going to be such a great night...I feel all "high-class" or something...first having dinner and then going to the ballet. We haven't been on a grand-scale date for quite some time, so I can hardly wait! On the topic of Tim, I just wanted to say what a wonderful guy he is. You know, I don't know many humans like him on this earth. People are usually so non merciful and fickle in their love. He has truly shown me Jesus over the last few months. He has even been reading Captivating to better understand women and how to deal with and treat me and also Gracie, his little girl. He truly adores us...not just loves and puts up with, but adores his family. Everyday he tells me how beautiful he thinks I am. Even when I feel like the butt area has gotten a little larger, he says I am perfect and when I look at him, I know he isn't just saying that cause that is what guys should say. He actually told me the other day that I am captivating. Me? I said (I can hardly believe him) Almost daily, he tells me how much he appreciates everything I do around the house and always thanks me for dinner. Sometimes when I look into his eyes I can see how Jesus feels about me. He looks past my outer appearance, through my faults and sin, and sees the woman I was created to be. Those are very overwhelming moments (that I usually run from and joke about...I get all squirmy with that kind of unspoken intimacy) So, now that most of you are barffing, I will quit. I just wanted you to know what an amazing man I am married to. I love him! Plus, as an added bonus, he has great hair!

Anyway, the main theme of what God has been teaching me about lately is trust. I saw a picture today of a little girl on a swing. You know how fun and carefree you feel on a swing, almost like you are transported back to a time of no cares....it's just you, the swing and the blue sky that you can almost touch! Kristy-Anne, I know you know what I am talking about! As I felt flooded with all of those emotions, my eyes moved up the picture and saw that the swing wasn't hooked to the swing-set, but the chains were held in the hands of Jesus. It said, "do you trust me?" I actually said out loud, "yes". I believe that I won't fall off the cliff. I believe that God has all of my days numbered and that He has a plan for me. This is a place that I have not been in 20 years. I have always felt as though I was on God's List of Things to Do and He just hadn't quite gotten to me yet. I know that He loves me. Just 3 weeks ago we were sitting in church and I told God that I feel useless, just a shell of a person...that I have no purpose. Eldon had us all hold hands and pray for eachother. I was trying, but really wondering if He heard my prayers. At the end Tracy (she was sitting next to me) was talking to the woman beside her and that woman told her to tell the "young girl" (me) that she really felt God was telling her that He has purpose and a plan for me. Hmmmm...that hit me like a tonne of bricks cause I didn't think that God had heard me and if He did, dismissed me cause what I felt was silly and childish. But no, He cared enough to tell someone so that they could tell me. On the same note, thanks Jenny for reminding me of what Steve Osmond said that day 4 years ago...I had forgotten...

So, the sky in more blue, I welcome the snow and I love everyone around me...I will apologize now if I go around hugging you all....just put up with it...besides, who can't use a hug?? What does all of this mean to me? Well, it means I am more peaceful, more content and I have the slight flickerings of joy in my spirit...embers, really...but the Holy Spirit is fanning them and I know that embers are all you need to start a raging fire...